Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize