She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
