Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
