when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
