She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
