So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
