I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We're too hungover to prance.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
