Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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