Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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