I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
