And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
