Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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