i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh god it's open bar.
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