I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
