4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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