Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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