Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
