so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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