From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As shirtless as possible
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Randomize