I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
