just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
