I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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