I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
