I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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