I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
