Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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