____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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