I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
