You made me cry and you don't even care
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
