We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
