she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
