I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
