so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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