my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
