So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
