i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
