He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
