i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
