Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
