They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
