I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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