we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
