Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
