I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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