he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
