I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
