Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
