You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You should frame my arrest warrant.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
