Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
