Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize