wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think people are normalizing furries
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
