dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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