I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
