So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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