after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
