Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
