...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
