I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
