With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The feeling are messing with the penis
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
