Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
