no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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