New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
